[Xbox series X][1.8.0.13][online play]Can't connect server

Version: 1.8.0.13_neutral_pv0cggyka38zt
Summary
Acquired date: 10/10/23
Install date: 10/26/23 (today uninstalled and reinstalled)
USA, west coast (also tried auto) private
1130 pm till current.

Selected play online, host, continue, same settings which is normal and default everything except i am a female character. When i try to create the session i receive a “can not connect to server, error”.
Now in the past my partner has has issues joining my game and usually we quit out restart and eventually it works. We did notice yesterday player 2 kept being dropped out of the game.
Our xbox is directly tethered through ethernet to our cox internet modem. (Both consoles are xbox series x, direct connected, same household)we did shut down and restart both consoles and have no other programs running or downloading.

Seed
800050

1250 pm let us join. But what could be the cause of this and what steps can i take next time? Also great job with all the updates, last year we played and could not even finish the game because aircraft parts couldn’t be made. I love this game and proud of your whole team. Its my favorite!

Some additional issues;
The next morning player 2 had client error and then host had an error and dropped out of game. (Life save rest)
Anchor unable to access while using rudder(new)
When holding sleeping bag my boat tops over(new)
Fixed when restarting after quitting totally:
Crates sometimes blank out unable to interact

Additional info:
we are on day 92 in game,
have 1 home base island with almost all crates found on atleast 20 islands with a large built house (going for build 1 of everything achievement and so grateful they fixed the shelving issue),
when we travel we don’t build shelters just use sleeping bag (which we cant save on raft anymore at all, it tips even if i hold the sleeping bag, even when anchored),
We pretty much clear all other islands and bring all the loot back to the main base island. (Most items crafted or stored in extra boxes.)